I think I'm going to start this post off with the good things that have happened recently. Craigslist actually came in handy and got me back in the saddle, literally.
I've been wanting to get back into riding horses again after taking a year long break for school, job searching, etc. I don't want to just take lessons once a week. In fact, I'd rather not have to pay to ride at all. I actually posted an ad on CL stating that I would like to work on a horse farm in exchange for being able to ride. I never got any responses, but last Saturday or Sunday I saw an ad about a lady who owned a horse farm that had broken her ankle. She was looking for an experienced rider to ride two of her Thoroughbreds.
I sent her an email about my experience with horses, but wasn't really expecting anything since I hadn't ridden in a year. Well she responded and we exchanged a few emails until she gave me her number. The next day I called her and we set it up so that on Wednesday afternoon I would come out to her farm and ride her schooling horse, so we could see how I was doing before riding the more spirited ones.
Wednesday came and it was so nice being in the saddle again. Once I asked the horse to trot and starting posting I could definitely tell that I wasn't in that good of shape anymore. I rode that horse for a little bit until they brought the calmer of the two Thoroughbreds out. She told me prior about the "bad" things the horses would do on their off days, but it was really nothing compared to what I had dealt with before.
I mounted the horse and rode about the same amount of time as the first. This was definitely more of a "get up and go" type of horse, but I like that since they don't take much encouraging to change their gaits. I rode the horse at a walk, trot, and canter. The only time the horse got over excited was when I asked him to canter one of the times and he took off at first. He was very easy to bring back down to a walk again though.
Overall I really enjoyed it and am hoping to go back out there tomorrow. When I first left the farm I wasn't sore at all, but a few hours after I got home I was definitely feeling the burn. It's not Saturday and I am still a little sore in some spots from it. It's definitely worth it to be doing something I love again though.
Now is where I think I want to put in the Postcards I've received. Putting the pictures in the middle of the post seems like a good thing to do. These first cards are from Postcrossing:
From Canada
Karleby, Finland
England
U.S.
Minsk, Belarus
I really like this card. It looks like it was done with watercolors.
These next two PC's are from Swap-bot and the Fall Leaves PC Swap:
I really love this card. It was handmade and it's laminated, so it's all shiny. Haha. I'm not sure if that's the way it goes, but it's how I prefer it. I really have no idea why I like it so much, but I do.
Ok. Now is when the sad stuff that's happened comes out. I think I'm going to copy and paste most of it since I've told the story several times now. Here it is:
I got home from class yesterday at a bit after noon and was informed by my grandma that one of our three cats, Jack (female), has been missing for around an hour. All of my cats are indoor cats and most of the time they are in plain sight. They are really friendly and mainly sleep on the couches or our beds. If Jack ever is hiding and I want to pet her or whatever I just call her name and she'll appear.
I was feeding one of my other cats when my grandma told me, so I grabbed the treat bag and started to shake it and called for Jack. Nothing. I tried upstairs. Nothing. I thought it was odd that she wasn't coming out of hiding, but didn't think much of it then. About an hour later I start looking for her since I'm getting a little bit worried. I spent a few hours going through every single place in my house several times trying to find her. Still nothing.
At this point it's about 4 in the afternoon. Jack has never been out of sight for this long, so of course I'm getting even more worried. I ask my grandpa, who is always working on stuff outside, if he left a door open or anything to where Jack could have gotten outside. He doesn't know for sure, but he thinks the door might have been open a little bit, but that he was working right next to it all day.
Now Jack has only been outside several times and that's only because my dad's stupid and let her out. When she was outside she would go right into the garage and just wander in there since she seemed pretty scared about being outside of the house. So it really makes no sense to me that she would go outside in the first place, let alone run away.
I went outside though and walked around and called her name. Our backyard is a ravine, so I spent a lot of time over there listening for any movement and stuff. Nothing still. We also live right next to a busy road, so that has me extra worried since she could very easily get hit by a car.
It's now 8:10 P.M. the next day and there's still no sign of her. I've posted an ad on Craigslist stating that she's missing and put a few pictures up on there as well. I really don't know what else to do since we've looked everywhere around here. On Monday I'll probably check some animal shelters and places like that for her. Another thing that has me really worried is the weather. It's been really cold and rainy all day, so I want her here and in the warm house. Everything about this situation just sucks. Here's two pictures of her:
I just really hope everything turns out ok. I don't need more stress and craziness right now.
Since school has started back up I have just felt terrible. I feel like I should just type things out, so I figured I might as well post it here while I'm at it.
The first week of school was pretty much fine. Besides LMC canceling my softball class and forcing me to waste time trying to figure out a new schedule. But forgetting that, you could say that it was normal. Then it was the weekend, which should be nice and relaxing. Well not really for me. I texted my mom on Friday asking about me visiting on Saturday. She usually complains when I don't visit her often, and I didn't have anything planned so I figured I'd head over there. Big mistake.
I don't really remember anything that happened on Friday, so it must have been all good there. I end up going to my moms on Saturday around 2. I couldn't even drive my Oldsmobile since the windshield was foggy and my dad didn't feel like fixing whatever had come loose that prevented the vents from working to defrost it. Ok, that's fine. I took my grandma's car instead, which was probably best for me to take since the wipers work better.
Well I get to my mom's apartment and walk in. Music is blasting from my brothers room and 3 of his friends are over and they are all (including my mom) playing Monopoly. Oh great, a day that was supposed to be a "family day" has now turned into me dealing with 13-15 year old boys.
Eventually their game ends and they all go into my brothers room to play video games. That just leaves my mom and I to catch up a bit. Oh boy, that's a bad idea to begin with. Turns out she's still being insanely stupid. I'm definitely not going to go into any detail about what was said to me (or shown to me) but I can guarantee that mothers should not discuss those things with their daughters no matter how old they are or "mature" they are.
I leave after only spending a few hours there since I really don't think I could have handled any more insanity. That day is when things started to turn sour for me. That night I had a terrible time trying to sleep and I kept having major lower back pain. Every night since then has just been me tossing and turning and unable to get a proper nights sleep. Last night I was dead tired and even took a sleeping aid just to make sure I would sleep through the night. That didn't help one bit and that night ended up the same as the rest. Each morning I just feel achy, tired, and depressed. My back hurts constantly and I keep having the worst headaches. It also seems like I'm cursed since everything that can go wrong, has.
I guess I just don't know what to do. School isn't the problem. I haven't missed a day yet and have been going to my classes and doing the work and so on. It's just the way I feel that I can't tolerate. Another problem is that everything I'm taking at the college is worthless. They have nothing I am interested in and I refuse to just take the "general" requirements classes. I want to do more than that and actually enjoy the classes I'm in.
Another thing to add to the mix is that I posted an ad on Craigslist stating that I am looking for a horse farm to work at in exchange for being able to ride horses for free. I've had the ad up for a little while now and I've received a response. A horse farm located about an hour away from me is looking for a full time/live in farm hand. Basically I could do the chores on the farm in exchange for a room, utilities, and being able to ride the horses. Now this is something that I would love to do. The problem though is that I'd have to live there, and full time would mean I most likely wouldn't be able to attend college. So on one hand I can stay here and be miserable, or check out the farm and the owners (the farm has a website that I checked out, but being Craigslist I'm obviously still wary) and if that all checks out possibly move up there and gain experience and references for what I actually want to do with my life.
Another thing that has popped up is that I might possibly be getting a job at the local Qdoba. I was informed by the employees when I went in there the other day that they were hiring, so I filled out an application. They told my to write down that they referred me and the next day I talked to the manager about the position. She wrote my name down so that she'd remember that I came in and talked to her. If they do decided to do interviews it still won't be for a few weeks. I've had the absolute worse luck with jobs, so my hopes aren't too high, but there's still a possibility.
Basically I am just at a loss as to what I should do right now. I really want to move in a positive direction and work towards my ultimate goal, but I'm not sure if that's the correct decision for this moment. I know I'd be a thousand times happier at the farm, but what about my so called "education"? Would it be worth it to put it on hold? Especially since what I want to do doesn't require a college degree? I would love to have an equine major, and Oklahoma State (I believe it is) has something I'd be highly interested in, but there is no way I could possibly attend there without taking out a loan. Is the best option to just wait, build experience, and try to go when I have some money saved?
I definitely know what I want to do, but I simply don't know if it's the correct choice. I don't want to just sit by and watch opportunities float by either. I want to take action.
God help me.
